With this post, we will be continuing the piece on correction I started with on Monday. Monday was all about overcoming the fears of correcting people. About being bold. About becoming truth tellers for the sake of those we love. Today, I will speak on the other extreme that often walks hand in hand with correction. The extreme that often labels Christians as judgmental, arrogant and hypocritical. The extreme of a correction based on pride rather than love.
This, right here, is Chloe. Recently, however, she gained a new nickname after a beloved Of Mice and Men character: Lenny. The other day I watched from the table as Chloe found a tiny lizard that had somehow made his or her way into our house. I don't think I have ever seen Chloe's tail swish back and forth so vigorously. She pranced and jumped like Gollum in Mount Doom after finding her own Precious. Then the silly lizard moved. Chloe then proceeded to pick up the lizard with her teeth and throw him across the dining room. The poor thing hit a wall and started sprinting, but Chloe caught up. After about 10 minutes of this unconventional fetch, the lizard died and Chloe lost her friend. For something she was so excited about, it didn't take her much time to kill it.
How often do we do this to people? Sometimes we forget that Christianity is not a magical switch that flips us to perfect. So when we see our Christian friend stumbling or slipping back into old bad habits, we pounce on them like Chloe did on this lizard. It doesn't just have to be our Christian friends, often we do this to non-Christians as well. We picket, and yell until we're blue in the face. If you read the last post, remember that it is completely Biblical to to correct our brothers and sisters in Christ, but I do believe we need to be cautious in how we do it. Check out more of 2 Timothy. He tells us to "preach the word; be prepared in season and out of season; correct, rebuke and encourage—with great patience and careful instruction" (4:2). Please, please do not miss the words encourage, patience and careful. Our human nature enjoys pointing out the wrong in others quickly and harshly, because if you are a "worse sinner" than me I can feel like I am a good person. This mentality must be overcome because no one is good, check out Romans 3:12. We all struggle and fall short of God's law, but praise God he offers us grace and correction.
Look at Peter after the death of Christ. He had done the worst of the worst. In Jesus' time of need, he denied ever knowing him. Three times. Ouch. He had been following Jesus for three years. Peter had some of the greatest insights and biggest blunders but this, he felt, was impossible to overcome. And now Jesus was dead. But then, early that morning, while the boys were out fishing because they didn't know what else to do, the resurrected Jesus decided to make an appearance. Jesus calls out to them and tells them to cast their nets to the other side, the same as he did when he first called them. Then John recognizes it's Jesus, and Peter is out of the boat in a heartbeat. After breakfast, Jesus simply asks Peter three times, the same number of times Peter denied him, if he loves him. And each time Peter responds yes, so Jesus tells him to feed his sheep (John 21). Look how gentle Jesus is. He could yell, rant and rave. When Jesus felt more alone than he has ever felt in his life, one of his best friends claimed he didn't know him. But Jesus offers a gentle question to a troubled Peter. Do you love me?
Then there were the times in the Bible when Jesus did get angry. When he used a strong tone for a bold confrontation. He called some of the strongest religious leaders a brood of snakes and asked how they would escape hell (Matthew 23). What is so important is that he knew what each situation called for, and so should we. So be patient enough with the person to know they need. Know them well enough to know whether they need a gentle encouragement or a kick in the pants. And when you can't figure out which it is, pray because God knows.
After assessing the situation, do not deny the person you are lovingly trying to correct the same gentleness Jesus offered. Even when he spoke boldly, it was out of love. Let me toss out an example here. My very first attempt at "spreading the gospel" happened when I was five or six. I had asked Jesus to be my personal Savior and I wanted my neighbor to know him too. So, sitting in my room, I asked her if she went to church. She said no and I proceeded with all the grace and mercy of a child to tell her about the fires and torment of Hell that she was surely bound for. Needless to say she ran home crying and we didn't see one another for a while. Is it right to share the gospel? Yes. But did I do it in the correct way? No. There was no gentleness, no love and no grace when she desperately needed to hear it. When we truly learn about God, it should be his character of love, fun, passion and honesty that draws us to him. So we need to be the showcase of that character to others. And it is when talking to others who already know his character that we may be asked to be a little more blunt to call them back.
This is certainly easier said than done, but it is the effort we must make, especially when we are working with others. We don't want to hurt them, but we don't want them to continue down the path they are on. It is never easy to correct friends, just like it is never easy to be corrected. So when all else fails and you are struggling with gentleness and love, remember "a gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger" (Proverbs 15:1). So don't pick them up in your teeth and throw them against a wall until you kill off their faith completely. Come alongside them and hold their hand. Tell them of your struggles and temptations. Talk to them, pray with them, love them. And please "Let your gentleness be evident to all. For the Lord is near" (Philippians 4:5). I promise you people won't always listen, but it will certainly be more effective than harsh words spoken out of pride and hate rather than love.
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