When Jason and I were first married, we lived in a pretty interesting little apartment. I was fresh out of college and he was halfway through his Master's program. We both worked restaurant jobs, so our apartment certainly wasn't the latest and greatest. I think you could see the entire apartment from any given place in any room. There was a bedroom, a bathroom, a living room and a galley kitchen. Things were pretty cozy. I'm pretty sure all of our furniture and decorations were from a thrift store, except for our couch. That beauty we picked up off the street. When the college kids left for the summer, they threw out this broken
love seat and we carried (yes, carried) it down the street to our
apartment. We couldn't fit a real couch in our apartment, so we settled for that gem, fixed it up and called it good.
After a year of fantastic memories in that tiny apartment, Jason officially joined the Army and we set off on another adventure, this time to Missouri. There we lived in the basement of an elderly woman's home. It was probably about twice the size of our old apartment, but quite a bit dirtier. We were there only a few months and then headed to Louisiana where we rented an actual house. Recently, we moved on the Army post, and have a three bedroom townhouse. It feels like a mansion.
As I have been trying to decorate and fill this house, I've realized that we've never actually had nice decorations. Everything has always come from a thrift store. Now that our school bills are paid and we are officially debt free, I asked Jason if I could spend a little extra on decorating and he agreed. Though most that I bought was on sale, extra cheap, or yes, still from a thrift store, our house certainly looks quite a bit nicer. Last night, I hung the final picture while Ellsey was sleeping and patted myself on the back. I was pretty happy with how things turned out. As I walked up to my room and meandered into the bathroom to get ready for bed, I saw it. I'm impressed I didn't scream and wake the neighborhood. Crawling on the floor was the biggest cockroach I've ever seen. After I killed it and tried to calm myself down enough to sleep (which obviously didn't happen), I got frustrated. Here I spent all this time making my house look nice, when it had cockroaches inside it.
As I fumed and grumbled, I began to think about how similar this is to something Jesus said to the Pharisees. In Matthew 23:27, Jesus says, "Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You are like whitewashed tomes, beautiful on the outside but on the inside you are full of the bones of the dead and everything unclean!" The Pharisees were supposed to be the good guys. They were the religious leaders, they taught about the law of God, yet throughout the gospels, we consistently see how they've messed up. you see, they spent so much time working on how they appeared to people and to the world, that they forgot to look at the condition of their hearts. They forgot the reason to obey the law is out of love and respect to a God who first made a covenant with them. They forgot that God looks at the heart, rather than the outward appearance that man looks to (1 Samuel 16:7). In my house, I worked and worked to make it look great, but didn't think about what could be lurking behind the walls and in the pipes of the house. Sure, it's cute, but if the structure is infested with creepy crawlies, the looks soon won't matter.
This is a much needed reminder to Christians today, myself included. We want to wear the happy smile and look put together. We serve, but all the while grumble and grumble. We cling to rules and regulations, not out of love for a Father who saved us by sending his only Son, but out of a desire to look better than our neighbors. We live lives of comparative religion with our peers rather than complete surrender to our Lord. My friends, this is so broken and wrong. What I long for is for Christians to get real. With ourselves and others. So often, we start well. When Jason and I started out, I was simply happy to have a place to live, who cared about the decorations? When we start out as Christians, we have usually come to that place of total surrender where we know we can do nothing without Christ. However, as we move and grow and God begins to create us more each day into the person he truly intends us to be, we tend forget our most basic need: him. We try to take over, forgetting that only he can make us clean and pure. Only he can clean the cockroaches out of our hearts. The most we can do on our own is look good, and that is fragile; but God, through our complete surrender and devotion can work in us and make us good, which is eternal.
For all you non-Christians out there, I am sorry for the times you have faced myself or another Christian who made you feel insignificant or dirty by their attitudes and words. The truth is, we were just as dirty as you, but we have been cleaned by the grace of Jesus. Sometimes, we just forget it. And to all the Christians out there, look at the condition of your heart. Do you serve out of joy and love from the love you first received when you were filthy as can be? Do you look on others with love and mercy, the same way Christ looks on you? Or is your heart full of cockroaches? Call the Exterminator, he is waiting for the call and isn't afraid of your bugs.
Thursday, October 2, 2014
Friday, June 27, 2014
Smart Phones and Not-So-Smart People
I did it. I finally jumped on the band wagon and got a smart phone and with it I learned a few lessons. It turns out that, when you have a smart phone, you have to hook it up to the internet or 4g a fair amount of the time for it to run effectively. Seems pretty stupid to me. I get it, I realize it's a tiny computer that needs to update, but I have a fear of overages that has made me pretty stingy with my 4g. At least, I was stingy until my phone decided it didn't really want to run until it updated twenty-seven programs. Yeah, I learned my lesson. I now realize that my phone needs to return to it's power-updating source if it is to be any use at all. Put this all aside for a second and travel with me to a pretty well-known Bible story that knocked me over when I read it with a new understanding.
I was hanging out in Matthew recently and read about Jesus feeding the four thousand. You've probably heard the story. Jesus has been traveling around, bringing some heat, correcting confused hearts and loving on the broken. He stops on a mountain and does some miracles and then has compassion on his followers and tells his disciples he doesn't want to send them away hungry. The disciples are still a little slow on the pick up and start to wonder where they could possibly get enough food to feed all the people. They scrounge together seven loaves of bread and some fish and "then [Jesus] took the seven loaves and the fish, and when he had given thanks, he broke them and gave them to the disciples, and they in turn to the people" (Matthew 15:36). I just so happened to look that verse up in a commentary and pretty much had my mind blown. Bear with me here, because my ESL teacher side is about to come out.
The verb "gave" in that verse is in the Imperfect tense. And that is just a fancy word that says the action kept happening for an extended period of time in the past. To put it as simply as I can: Jesus kept giving. I think every time I've read that story, I assumed that he broke the bread and bam, there were baskets overflowing with bread ready for the disciples to hand out. But no, the disciples would take some bread from Jesus, hand it out, and then return to him for more. That is astoundingly beautiful and powerful to me because it is something we usually forget.
I think we often start down a path God wants us on and assume he's filled our basket. We take off on the journey and forget to come back to him. Because of this attitude, we burn out; we have nothing left to give. Only when we return to God to be filled by him, can we offer anything to others. Only when we are filled by Him can we be emptied properly and fully take part in the plan he has for us. So remember to return to the true source of life. Live in him always, but when you're feeling especially empty, poured out, and exhausted by the plan he has for you, remember that Jesus keeps on giving. Be smart enough to get updates. There is no need to fear overages because Jesus "fills everything in every way" (Ephesians 1:23). So stay plugged in constantly and be encouraged. He kept on giving so you can do the same.
I was hanging out in Matthew recently and read about Jesus feeding the four thousand. You've probably heard the story. Jesus has been traveling around, bringing some heat, correcting confused hearts and loving on the broken. He stops on a mountain and does some miracles and then has compassion on his followers and tells his disciples he doesn't want to send them away hungry. The disciples are still a little slow on the pick up and start to wonder where they could possibly get enough food to feed all the people. They scrounge together seven loaves of bread and some fish and "then [Jesus] took the seven loaves and the fish, and when he had given thanks, he broke them and gave them to the disciples, and they in turn to the people" (Matthew 15:36). I just so happened to look that verse up in a commentary and pretty much had my mind blown. Bear with me here, because my ESL teacher side is about to come out.
The verb "gave" in that verse is in the Imperfect tense. And that is just a fancy word that says the action kept happening for an extended period of time in the past. To put it as simply as I can: Jesus kept giving. I think every time I've read that story, I assumed that he broke the bread and bam, there were baskets overflowing with bread ready for the disciples to hand out. But no, the disciples would take some bread from Jesus, hand it out, and then return to him for more. That is astoundingly beautiful and powerful to me because it is something we usually forget.
I think we often start down a path God wants us on and assume he's filled our basket. We take off on the journey and forget to come back to him. Because of this attitude, we burn out; we have nothing left to give. Only when we return to God to be filled by him, can we offer anything to others. Only when we are filled by Him can we be emptied properly and fully take part in the plan he has for us. So remember to return to the true source of life. Live in him always, but when you're feeling especially empty, poured out, and exhausted by the plan he has for you, remember that Jesus keeps on giving. Be smart enough to get updates. There is no need to fear overages because Jesus "fills everything in every way" (Ephesians 1:23). So stay plugged in constantly and be encouraged. He kept on giving so you can do the same.
Tuesday, May 27, 2014
Flowers
Out for a jog recently, I saw a whole lot of people out and about planting flowers. It's a little late in the season, but hey, it's Michigan. As I crawled by them, shoving my stroller and heaving, I had to chuckle (in my mind, of course, I certainly didn't have the lung capacity for laughing at the time). I chuckled to myself because it brought back memories of last summer when, for the first time in my life, I planted flowers. I was so excited to have a yard that I took Lowes by storm and loaded up my car, ready to start on my garden that would obviously be featured in Better Homes and Garden magazine. Then I got to the planting.
After I weeded what can only be described as a jungle with thorns, I prepared to dig my first hole for a marigold. Now, I'm no body-builder, but I found this far more difficult than it should've been. Turns out there was a giant tarp underneath the dirt, something you "plant people" use to retain water and stop weeds or some nonsense like that. Planting suddenly got a little harder. But after hours upon hours of perseverance, I was done. Or so I thought. Then came the maintenance. I had to water them. Everyday. Ugh. We didn't have a hose, so pregnant me waddled to and fro struggling with a bucket to water these silly things. I finally gave up and let most of them die. One plant was actually so stubborn that I finally stepped on it so I would feel justified not watering it anymore.
I've found that sowing seeds of the spiritual nature have some similarities. A lot of times, when I tell someone about Jesus, I find that I expect them to fall to their knees and accept Jesus on the spot. I want the beauty of the garden without the work of the planting and maintaining. Don't get me wrong, there are times when an immediate reaction occurs, but that often takes place because someone else has already tilled the soil and planted the seed. If you're the one planting the seed, be prepared for some work, some thorns and a whole lot of patience.
When I first started to realize how trying it can be to plant seeds in the lives of the people around me, I was overwhelmed. I felt all this pressure and got pretty discouraged. But then God reminded me of a simple and beautiful truth through the words of Paul. The church in Corinth was struggling over who to listen to and who to follow, so Paul reminded them: "I planted the seed, Apollos watered it, but God has been making it grow. So neither the one who plants nor the one who waters is anything, but only God, who makes things grow" (1 Corinthians 3:6-7). So take heart and know that God alone offers salvation, God alone makes the seeds you plant and water grow. Not you, not me. By all means, don't stop watering the lives of the people around you, but remember that only God can make things grow. So plant and water the souls you meet and praise God that his thumb is greener than mine.
After I weeded what can only be described as a jungle with thorns, I prepared to dig my first hole for a marigold. Now, I'm no body-builder, but I found this far more difficult than it should've been. Turns out there was a giant tarp underneath the dirt, something you "plant people" use to retain water and stop weeds or some nonsense like that. Planting suddenly got a little harder. But after hours upon hours of perseverance, I was done. Or so I thought. Then came the maintenance. I had to water them. Everyday. Ugh. We didn't have a hose, so pregnant me waddled to and fro struggling with a bucket to water these silly things. I finally gave up and let most of them die. One plant was actually so stubborn that I finally stepped on it so I would feel justified not watering it anymore.
I've found that sowing seeds of the spiritual nature have some similarities. A lot of times, when I tell someone about Jesus, I find that I expect them to fall to their knees and accept Jesus on the spot. I want the beauty of the garden without the work of the planting and maintaining. Don't get me wrong, there are times when an immediate reaction occurs, but that often takes place because someone else has already tilled the soil and planted the seed. If you're the one planting the seed, be prepared for some work, some thorns and a whole lot of patience.
When I first started to realize how trying it can be to plant seeds in the lives of the people around me, I was overwhelmed. I felt all this pressure and got pretty discouraged. But then God reminded me of a simple and beautiful truth through the words of Paul. The church in Corinth was struggling over who to listen to and who to follow, so Paul reminded them: "I planted the seed, Apollos watered it, but God has been making it grow. So neither the one who plants nor the one who waters is anything, but only God, who makes things grow" (1 Corinthians 3:6-7). So take heart and know that God alone offers salvation, God alone makes the seeds you plant and water grow. Not you, not me. By all means, don't stop watering the lives of the people around you, but remember that only God can make things grow. So plant and water the souls you meet and praise God that his thumb is greener than mine.
Sunday, April 27, 2014
Spilled Milk
Whoever said not to cry over spilled milk clearly never spilled it in the trunk of their car the day before a heat wave struck. Yeah, I have. And yeah, it could be worth a few tears. It turns out when you toss your groceries in the trunk of your car, you have to be concerned with more than just putting the bread on top. Whoops. The gallon laid on its side and out leaked the milk on the drive home. Don't worry, I wasn't foolish enough to leave it. After clearing out the groceries I scrubbed and scrubbed and felt pretty good about things. Even when I got in the car that evening life was good. The next day, however, the thermometer read 60 degrees and when I opened the car door, my gag reflex got a pretty good workout.
I couldn't help but see how this relates to our walks with God. Bear with me and I'll explain. You see, I've met so many people that struggle with the guilt, pain and shame of past sins. They lived a rough life before they knew Christ and when they came to know him, he cleaned them up, forgave them and changed their lives. But so many people refuse to live in that forgiveness. They refuse to forgive themselves. You open the trunk of their lives and their past hits them in the face every time they try to move forward.
I also see a lot of spilled milk in marriages. It is so easy to find ammunition in past fights for present ones. Have you ever done this? Have you ever been in the middle of a fight, disagreement or argument and in order to make your point pulled out a list of all the past transgressions your spouse has made? Transgressions you had supposedly worked through and forgiven? I have and friends, it isn't pretty. Spilled milk never is.
Both of these cases are so common in our lives. We either can't forgive ourselves or we can't forgive others completely. Usually it's a little of both is sprinkled throughout our lives. But this is not how God intended us to live. Once we come to him and truly repent of our sins, we are free. Once we recognize our mistakes and seek to fully follow Christ, he cleans up the spilled milk in our lives. Psalm 103 puts it beautifully when it says, "He does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us" (10-12). God doesn't hold onto our sins. He forgives and forgets. We must learn to do the same.
Please understand that I don't mean that we should skip through life sinning and smiling because we think we're pulling a fast one on God. We need true repentance and a heart that longs to follow him. But if you are actively seeking his face and desiring to walk in the path of his commands, take joy in the knowledge that you are forgiven and set free. Don't walk around with the chains of bondage from past sins. God has forgiven them and so should you.
And because God has done this for us, we need to extend that same courtesy to others. Jesus makes it very clear when he says, "For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their sins, your father will not forgive your sins" (Matthew 6:14-15). So when others spill milk into your life, clean it up and make sure it is truly gone. If you're like me, you probably won't be able to do this on your own, but with God's grace and guidance he will help you to forgive every day, every minute, every second. Make the choice to forgive and ask God for the help to live that out.
Believe God when he tells you that you are forgiven. Believe him when he tells you that you are worthwhile. Believe him when he cleans up your life and changes you. The change won't take place overnight, but you will continue to grow in him each day if you ask him. And believe him when he tells you to forgive others. He extended the courtesy first, who are we to do any different? Work this forgiveness into your life. Daily. Say goodbye to that spilled milk stench you have tried and tried to get rid of on your own. You can't, but God can. And when he does, take a deep breath and breathe in the fresh, sweet, clean air that is forgiveness.
I couldn't help but see how this relates to our walks with God. Bear with me and I'll explain. You see, I've met so many people that struggle with the guilt, pain and shame of past sins. They lived a rough life before they knew Christ and when they came to know him, he cleaned them up, forgave them and changed their lives. But so many people refuse to live in that forgiveness. They refuse to forgive themselves. You open the trunk of their lives and their past hits them in the face every time they try to move forward.
I also see a lot of spilled milk in marriages. It is so easy to find ammunition in past fights for present ones. Have you ever done this? Have you ever been in the middle of a fight, disagreement or argument and in order to make your point pulled out a list of all the past transgressions your spouse has made? Transgressions you had supposedly worked through and forgiven? I have and friends, it isn't pretty. Spilled milk never is.
Both of these cases are so common in our lives. We either can't forgive ourselves or we can't forgive others completely. Usually it's a little of both is sprinkled throughout our lives. But this is not how God intended us to live. Once we come to him and truly repent of our sins, we are free. Once we recognize our mistakes and seek to fully follow Christ, he cleans up the spilled milk in our lives. Psalm 103 puts it beautifully when it says, "He does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us" (10-12). God doesn't hold onto our sins. He forgives and forgets. We must learn to do the same.
Please understand that I don't mean that we should skip through life sinning and smiling because we think we're pulling a fast one on God. We need true repentance and a heart that longs to follow him. But if you are actively seeking his face and desiring to walk in the path of his commands, take joy in the knowledge that you are forgiven and set free. Don't walk around with the chains of bondage from past sins. God has forgiven them and so should you.
And because God has done this for us, we need to extend that same courtesy to others. Jesus makes it very clear when he says, "For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their sins, your father will not forgive your sins" (Matthew 6:14-15). So when others spill milk into your life, clean it up and make sure it is truly gone. If you're like me, you probably won't be able to do this on your own, but with God's grace and guidance he will help you to forgive every day, every minute, every second. Make the choice to forgive and ask God for the help to live that out.
Believe God when he tells you that you are forgiven. Believe him when he tells you that you are worthwhile. Believe him when he cleans up your life and changes you. The change won't take place overnight, but you will continue to grow in him each day if you ask him. And believe him when he tells you to forgive others. He extended the courtesy first, who are we to do any different? Work this forgiveness into your life. Daily. Say goodbye to that spilled milk stench you have tried and tried to get rid of on your own. You can't, but God can. And when he does, take a deep breath and breathe in the fresh, sweet, clean air that is forgiveness.
Sunday, April 20, 2014
Turkey Calls
Yep. Get excited. Throughout several Ellsey naps, I plan to compose and publish another post. Here's hoping it won't take fifteen days. So the other day, my delightful husband informed me that he was going to take up turkey hunting. Please note that turkey season started about two weeks before he was to leave the country for a year. But in Jason's mind, that was long enough. He took on his new hobby with a vengeance and soon came home with a turkey calling kit. If you've never turkey hunted (don't feel too bad about yourself, it doesn't sound all that cool), the calling devices are pretty strange. Picture a mouth guard that doesn't guard your teeth but fits into the roof of your mouth. You blow in a strange way and the sound of a turkey magically comes forth. Unless you're Jason.
When Jason first blew his turkey call he sounded like an asthmatic child blowing a kazoo. Needless to say, it was hysterical. As entertaining as this was, Jason remained determined and next pulled from his turkey calling kit an audio CD. Yeah. A CD that teaches turkey calls. After a few days of riding to work and practicing his turkey call, all the while enduring thoughtful and loving ridicule from his wife, he apparently began to sound like a turkey. I wouldn't know because I've never heard, nor wanted to hear, a turkey.
I found it pretty impressive that the more Jason heard the sound of a turkey voice and with the right tools, the better he got at projecting that voice himself. How true is this in our walks with Christ? The more we listen to his voice, the better we are at emulating the voice of Christ in our own lives. The more we hear him, the more we act and sound like him.
It's Easter, so maybe you went to church today. And maybe it was your first time in church in a while. Or perhaps you've been in church your whole life, but never truly known the sound of God's voice. I urge you not to give up. Practice. Put on your turkey calling CD and listen to it in your car. Get out your own set of tools: read God's word and begin to learn what his voice sounds like. Ask God to speak because, I promise you, he longs for you to know his voice. And until you know his voice, imitate those who do. I don't mean this in a fake way. It's easy to put on the Christian show. I'm saying with all your heart, look to those who know God's voice. Look to them and model your life after them. Ask questions, they will be glad to share what they know. Hebrews tells us to "Remember your leaders, who spoke the word of God to you. Consider the outcome of their way of life and imitate their faith (13:7)." As you imitate, you will grow in understanding of the true voice of God.
Just as Jason imitated the turkey pretty terribly at first, so you might struggle with imitating Christ and his followers. It is not easy, but as you work and as you strain to hear his voice, it will become more and more natural with each passing day. And as you hear that voice, as you learn how God deeply and intimately longs to talk with you, I pray that you will respond to what he says. It will not always be easy. Actually, more often than not he will call you out of your comfort zone. But when you truly listen to his voice and he begins to mold your desires to his, your voice and your actions will sound more like Christ each day. "So as the Holy Spirit says, 'Today, if you hear his voice do not harden your hearts' (Hebrews 3:7,8)." Open your ears and your hearts. Begin the journey of learning his voice today. And maybe, just maybe, eat some turkey.
When Jason first blew his turkey call he sounded like an asthmatic child blowing a kazoo. Needless to say, it was hysterical. As entertaining as this was, Jason remained determined and next pulled from his turkey calling kit an audio CD. Yeah. A CD that teaches turkey calls. After a few days of riding to work and practicing his turkey call, all the while enduring thoughtful and loving ridicule from his wife, he apparently began to sound like a turkey. I wouldn't know because I've never heard, nor wanted to hear, a turkey.
I found it pretty impressive that the more Jason heard the sound of a turkey voice and with the right tools, the better he got at projecting that voice himself. How true is this in our walks with Christ? The more we listen to his voice, the better we are at emulating the voice of Christ in our own lives. The more we hear him, the more we act and sound like him.
It's Easter, so maybe you went to church today. And maybe it was your first time in church in a while. Or perhaps you've been in church your whole life, but never truly known the sound of God's voice. I urge you not to give up. Practice. Put on your turkey calling CD and listen to it in your car. Get out your own set of tools: read God's word and begin to learn what his voice sounds like. Ask God to speak because, I promise you, he longs for you to know his voice. And until you know his voice, imitate those who do. I don't mean this in a fake way. It's easy to put on the Christian show. I'm saying with all your heart, look to those who know God's voice. Look to them and model your life after them. Ask questions, they will be glad to share what they know. Hebrews tells us to "Remember your leaders, who spoke the word of God to you. Consider the outcome of their way of life and imitate their faith (13:7)." As you imitate, you will grow in understanding of the true voice of God.
Just as Jason imitated the turkey pretty terribly at first, so you might struggle with imitating Christ and his followers. It is not easy, but as you work and as you strain to hear his voice, it will become more and more natural with each passing day. And as you hear that voice, as you learn how God deeply and intimately longs to talk with you, I pray that you will respond to what he says. It will not always be easy. Actually, more often than not he will call you out of your comfort zone. But when you truly listen to his voice and he begins to mold your desires to his, your voice and your actions will sound more like Christ each day. "So as the Holy Spirit says, 'Today, if you hear his voice do not harden your hearts' (Hebrews 3:7,8)." Open your ears and your hearts. Begin the journey of learning his voice today. And maybe, just maybe, eat some turkey.
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