The Notebook

I was chatting with God the other day when I asked him, "What do you want from me?" It wasn't in a whiney way, but it was an honest question because I really was looking for some guidance in a tough situation. His answer surprised me. Not because it was something I have never heard of, but because, apparently, God has seen the Notebook. After I asked, I immediately thought of the scene in the Notebook where Noah is trying to determine if Allie will stay with him or go back to her fiance and give the speech that every love-sap probably knows by heart. (Don't worry, I had to look up the actual quote).

"So it's not going to be easy. It's going to be really hard. And we're going to have to work at this every day but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, forever, every day, you and me."

I think people love this quote because he didn't just tell her it would be sunshine and rainbows. Yet, in spite of the difficulties, this love would be worth it. 

The same is true of our relationship with God. God wants all of me. And he wants all of you too. He did the work on the cross and now we need to work at it every day in order to follow him. I just finished a book called Not a Fan by Kyle Idleman, and it is a book that is devoted to figuring out what it means to be a truly committed follower of Jesus. Often times when Jesus was speaking to a crowd, he didn't give them a commercial. Jesus' message wasn't all about how great following him would be, but how hard. He didn't sugarcoat it to gain followers, he laid it all on the line and basically told them to take it or leave it. And many left it. After one of his harder teachings, John 6:66 says, "From this time on many of his disciples turned back and no longer followed him."

Following Jesus isn't a walk in the park because he does in fact want all of us. This is one of my greatest struggles. In some parts of my life, I have no trouble realizing just how much I need God, but there are areas where I think, "Why don't you just take a seat on the sideline, God, I've got this one." I enjoy control and I always have, but I cannot have control and have God. I cannot have both my will and his because they contradict one another. That is why Paul made it so clear to the early churches that they must die to themselves (1 Corinthians 5:15).

Please don't forget this. Jesus does not simply ask for a piece of your heart. He wants the whole thing. You cannot allow him into part of your life and keep other parts for yourself. You cannot live for yourself and live for him. By no means is this easy. It goes against our sinful nature. It goes against our pride and love for control. It goes against our desire for independence and our selfishness. But if we look to Christ as our example, we know just how difficult it is. He died a gruesome death on a cross and told his disciples to do the same. He said, "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself, take up his cross daily and follow me" (Luke 9:23).

It will go against every fiber of your being to deny yourself. And trust me, you cannot do it without the work of the Holy Spirit. Without the help of God, you cannot deny yourself. But with his grace and his guidance, you can. He wants all of you and will settle for nothing less. So how can you die to yourself today? It is going to be really hard, but the prize is worth it. Because I promise you, once you die to yourself and live for Christ, you will wonder how you ever thought you were alive before.